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Evil Inc After Dark #77, page 6
🕑 Added 2025-05-15 19:30:03 +0000 UTCWORK ORDER: #2205-173
CLIENT: The Warren Apts, Unit 3B
ADDRESS: 339 N 11th Street, Fairmount City
TECHNICIAN: Thornhide, B.
ARRIVAL TIME: 2:13 PM
DEPARTURE TIME: ??? (left sometime after moonrise)
SERVICE TYPE: Appliance Delivery & Install / Unexpected Moisture Management
TASKS PERFORMED:
☑ Delivered new refrigerator unit (model: Jotnar 4200)
☑ Removed old unit (approx. 14 years old, full of expired kombucha & possibly sentient kale)
☑ Installed new fridge, leveled legs (rear right needed stacking shims — used three)
☑ Mounted ice maker unit against back wall, tested water line
☑ Mounted tenant on kitchen counter
☑ Tested cooling cycle – successful (note: coils hum louder than normal when ambient temp exceeds 95°F or when Lamia curls around unit)
NOTES / ISSUES:
Original client (Lamia) answered door wearing nothing but a crop top and optimism. Said she “liked the look of the horns” and asked if I “did custom fittings.”
Physical exertion involved:
47 minutes of aggressive tailplay
3 failed attempts to leave, blocked by strategically-positioned snake coils
One instance of airborne reverse-cowgirl (unsanctioned, but impressive form)
Carpet saturated (not water-related)
Lamia can apparently unhinge jaw.
Multiple attempts to resume work were interrupted by enthusiastic requests for “one more test cycle.”
Drank 3 full bottles of water, still dehydrated.
FOLLOW-UP NEEDED:
☐ None
☑ Strong recommendation: no solo appliance installs in college housing going forward
SIGNATURE (CLIENT): ✱✱✱ [indecipherable—signed with a tongue print]
SIGNATURE (TECH): B. Thornhide (written left-handed due to temporary cramping in dominant hand)
______________________
Now that the stories from the fertility clinic have concluded, an older minotaur steps to the front of the room to share his story. This dad-bod brute was called to install a refrigerator in the apartment of a young lamia and ended up laying some pipe while he was there.
