intertwining

glass slippers + self portraits + flowers

‘glass slippers’/i open/these eyesto silvery ribbonsdancing across/surface of river/spirits of glassessence of water[ephemeral movement]/tensionat the surfaceor is it flow?/we sleep intertwinedwith the windows openand the coyotes sing/i smell fire“touch melike the wind”/i command/in deep resti dreamof glass slippers/which are square/these idealsthese fantasiesare flawed!/you tell me/my heartkeeps flutteringlike this/we are/fragiletransient,and do not/always fit/stillwe doperfectly/yet perhaps not/in the wayswe would think —stop it/for...

SHEN

In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the organ of the heart is the ‘emperor’ of the body.When the heart is in balance, the whole body is in harmony. When the heart goes out of balance, so does everything else; there is dis-harmony, dis-ease.TCM tells us that the heart houses theShen (spirit, or ‘original soul’), which influencesmental clarity, emotional well-being, and relationships.Psychology tells us that romantic love is a ... "state of intense longing for union with another.”“A complex functional whole including appraisals...

whirling between the trees

the first image is of my grandpa who was an incredible poet and immigrated here from lebanon. he loved deeply. most of his poetry is in arabic. it reminds me of rumi and hafiz and khalil gibran, who he loved. he died during covid. he loved to dance and i love this photo of him where his hands are so grace full it appears like a spontaneous mudra. he wrote me a poem every year for my birthday except when he got sick. thinking of him as im turning 30 next week. thank you to the ancestors who worked so hard so we can live and express and create fr...

humans at the colony [film + excerpt from 'internal medicine']

i see nowthis kinky dancethat seems to take placeoutside of me, begins/internally /we areunfathomablewe arecompletely mundane/the hummannessthe messthe sweet struggleis what makes us/godly/what is perfectionnothing reallyi feel in the darkhow ugly we are/don't turn away yet!/look here:pristine, puss-filledblemish, lone hairbeneath the chin/shaking palms/there is beautyin our vulnerabilityi walk in the rainwith a new friend/and we speakof the challengesof relationship'explain,' i say/go deeper, i urge/"no. i don't want to,&#3...

november diary [8]

full moon [visual diary: 12]

fertile truth

10.31.25

see a rainbowtranslucent shawlover cold mountainsdark lavenderand pale goldappear and disappearlike a mirage,a river streams quickdown the faceof the mooncompassionmeans to leaveanother human bewhen i acceptus completelywe are freeto changeholy atmosphericconditionswhich bring ustogetherand to our kneesthe prism appearsto be realbut is not sounless believed

something greater is revealed in the archetypal realm

the queen of swords denotes the perceptive wisdom gained through difficult experiences. becki embodied this archetype so gracefully. it’s a blessing to make art with her.

in the dance with our own fragility

here the mountain

I DON’T KNOWwho i am. who you are.and that is amazing.imagine knowing?how boring.i pray we see eachotherwith fresh eyes in each moment:no past, no futurein the fertile spaceat the end of the exhale,we can lay down our ideasabout eachotherlet that all die andhere is a new face,a new opportunityto meet You“you have so many faces”a friend told mesometimes you are uglyand sometimes i turn away becauseyou are so brillianti can’t take itbut when i forgetmyselfhere we arei know youi feel you insidecloser than the breathi need You …

all moments in one moment

see what happens when you stay/and surrender and surrender and surrender /to God

rising up

the ones who Know the deepest suffering are the ones /who raised me /you cannot be tough if you haven’t been through trials and toughness /yet so soft are these beings in the space behind the heart — /generous sprawling landscapes /the ones who know how the breathe calmly in the middle of the blazing fire /are the ones who raise us /they showthe medicines of the our body and patience and hard work; relentless love /a mirror of potential a swift kick: time /to tell new stories /in each i see the holy mother the timeless black hag /god the...

the stories we tell

a turning point. to become unshakeable,rooted here between two trees thank you earth ancestors and the wind who whispers with compassion this voice is not me and it is also more me than anything it is You

day after the equinox

at the river there is a golden tree standing alone, above the water and reflected on the surface blooming below, a dreamthe birds cry and i wadeinto the mirage whispering/it rains gently on the surface of the water; i love when the sky opens like this — and i am alone againand some ruby red leaves adorn the ground, which supports this life, this life which springs /from groundlessness /the rain stops i offer dried flowers which i have been clinging tofor a while now because they remind meof You — whatever you areattached to give thataway;/t...

wise as a serpent, gentle as a dove.

autumn diary.

Autumn is a time of letting go, of yin, rhythms, of preservation of the space at the end of the exhale. Of change, of the wind, and the sunlight becomes more golden still. “Yin teaches us the wisdom of surrender. Yin chooses to yield even when everyone else is getting ahead. Like an inner earth, yin is the soil in which we gestate our dreams, refine our intuition, listen to our bodies, and come into the stillness of our centre. When actions arise from the receptive still point they have real meaning. Ideas that emerge from this level of imag...

RIVER OF TENSION [essence of individuation]

the problem and the solution are in the individual. /a teacher says this and i nod in comprehension but it is different to feel it alive /inside the navel the tension of opposites how do polarities relate to one another? /a friend tells me i regret being a parent she shares another stomach bug with her child /and in the same breath she would do anything for her daughter this is not a problem, /but the truth the truth which fucks us open wide; and is the pot still precious/after it is cracked open is it the vessel, or what is inside that matters...

reflections [iii]

the senses as portals

may all inner obstacles dissolve in That eternal luminosity … [prayer on the day of ganesha]

life lately. a river, a dream… grateful always

moments.

river of gratitude

from new moon in virgo yesterday. self, magnolia (over the eye), and the river. also, a poem for you,…I. i lay down on a fallen tree to write this /when supported by tree spine clicks subtly a thousand times the mother readjusts all misalignment /back of heart massaged i cry because i feel magnetism, her deep roots /deep roots, tinted pale lavendardo you see the undertones? the visible or invisible /this body cries for nature like a child for the breast /i press pubic bone against hard bark thick utpala roots like the snake turning from ebony...

hymn to clarity

whatever i do willingly or unwillingly i am offering its fruits whether happiness or misery to You. /there is nothing to know aside from the forest inside or river in the spine thread of pearls /dynamic line circular witness to you what is Time?contraction, expansion, /birth now death now the mountain the diaghphram tension, release,/keep watching wait patiently in stillness the body reorganizes / come here

when you don’t know what to do, just do the next right thing

full moon in aquarius (ii)

an empty glass beer bottle /a red flower in a circle of stones /which is holier in Your eyes? / i am not anywhere but here / i am

full moon in aquarius (i)

the leopard and the genie

from the new moon:

i ask my mother, the river, to purify the fire and i am still in her waters. i notice when i do not move, everything is magnetized towards me. i notice pale rainbow on iridescent thigh. the surface tension accentuating gold speckled leaf. reflection of sun in the dark, silky waters. cosmos. i want to be fully alive; to love fully, i tell the river spirit. i tell her this and she reveals to me the fullness of her being — healing Waters rippling out and out, still further …

submerging + emerging

how very strange; this perfect mess

i experimented with myself and am still doing so. sometimes there is a long wink of liberosis but other times i nearly lose this mind. both are good. the Sun rises again and the air is cool and there is a calm which im not sure is within or without definitely both. thank you to the fertile dirt!when it is time to rest do not pretend it is time to work. and when it is time to work there is no need for rest. at the lowest point despair wholly. do not hold back. and there the Holy waits in secret. God the highest, you are right here. always. no se...