BarCalak posts
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June Release Update (2)
And we are officially back on the Hogwarts Express tracks!Mover/Shaker Step 9 is out as Uki begins the new leg of his journey in the next arc of the series!The filming for Half Blood Prince has officially wrapped, and in the freshly released IoTV! Chapters 36.5,37, and 37.5 are ready to read - hopefully with the same excitement as bas has generated with his antics!Now that I'm all caught up, I can finally spend some time showing my continued appreciation for all you and actually respond to your lovely comments! I'll try for some bonus c...
Chapter 37.5: Dance Dance Retribution
Chapter 37.5: Dance Dance RetributionJack Black’s Home, Beachwood California. May 2008.“Sing from your diaphragm, Bas baby. You gotta - waaAAH - let it out!” Jack Black’s backyard was about as open as it gets. Yet somehow, despite that, he belted out his voice loud enough to shake the trees surrounding his property.There was even an echo - though that may very well have been the flock of birds he scared away.“These feathers falling around us aren’t because I have the voice of an angel. The only place I’m carrying a tune is straigh...
Chapter 37: Keeping Tabs
Chapter 37: Keeping TabsProduction Office, Leavesden. April 2008.Never did I believe that so far away from my schooling years that I’d be back in the principal’s office awaiting correction.David Heyman’s warm woody office was replaced by the harsh fluorescent hell of academic authority. My stiff spine and knocking knees made the plush leather tougher than straight backed plastic. Considering that I was clad in my Hogwarts uniform, as well as Emma sat contritely beside me, only helped to convince me of my fantasy even further.Static on the...
Chapter 36.5: Cockroach Spray
Chapter 36.5: Cockroach SprayThe Automat, London. April 2008.The American housing market had crashed out, and the nervous bobblehead I’d employed as my financial manager, Ben Wyatt, had cashed in.Busy as I was, we’d yet to go into the full numbers. But the last time he’d yammered on, at least until I’d hung up on him to get started on my next take, he’d assured me my bank account was bursting at the seams.Suffice it to say, like a feverish jackpot millionaire voiding his bowels in a casino’s occupied public restroom, I was flush wit...
9th Move: Juggling Relationships
9th Move: Juggling RelationshipsViolet City GymAt this moment, I am euphoric, not because I have seized victory, but because I am basking in my opponent’s misery.If the crowd had any applause or good sportsmanship, I wasn’t on the receiving end of it.Falkner swooped over to me as soon as the both of us recalled our Pokémon. Baloo was in need of a good rest, and no doubt he’d get the jolly jingle treatment from nurse Joy as soon as I hit the Pokécenter after this.But as reluctant as Falkner and I both were to stand on ceremony, the nicet...
Release Update June (1)
Tardy to the party, but the music's still pumping!Apologies for the slight delay this week. Writer's block had turned me into a blockhead, but I beat my head against that brick wall long enough to get the newest batch out as I promised!Mover/Shaker Step 8 - Uki takes his first steps on the battle stage and earns his first badge with Baloo against Falkner and his fliers. IoTV! 35, 35.5, and 36 are also out! We get insight into how certain people in his life think of him, as he does something nice for those he cares about, and people how ...
Chapter 36: Keeping Mum
Chapter 36: Keeping MumCardiff, Wales. March 2 2008.The wheels on the bus went crunch as it drove over the gravel driveway of the manor. With a whiny crank and steamyhiss, it came just a few meters away from the entranceofthe foster home.Mrs Stephens, with a thankful smile to the driver, was the first one off, as the other den mother stayed behind to usher all the children out in single file. “Stay in line, everyone. Let’s not lose anyone now.” Unlike the bus doors, the stream of excited chattering hopping off the last stairs of the vehic...
Chapter 35.5: I’d Like to Spank the Academy
Chapter 35.5: I’d Like to Spank the AcademyKodak Theatre, Hollywood. February 2008.The glam! The glitz! A red sea littered with stars as far as I could spit.Not that I would since several thousand lenses that would catch any glob of saliva from my mouth with more force than gravity itself.When I wasn’t actively shedding pounds, the majority of my strolls these days were on red carpets. My polished shoes padding on crimson should have felt like treading through the same daily running route I always take, but an awards show entrance was a far...
Chapter 35: HeartFelt(on) Apology
Chapter 35: HeartFelt(on) ApologyLeavesden Studios, UK. January 2008.Something stank to high heaven, and it wasn’t his soggy socks.“Alright, gentlemen. I believe we’ve got the shot - even the one for posterity.” Tom Felton remained prone and submerged in the ankle-deep water.Myrtle’s bathroom had been flooded rather spectacularly on account of Draco and Harry’s little lover’s spat - also because of some clever plumbing by the set designers.Which was why Tom was marinating in this rank, red dyed water.“Does that mean us kids can ...
8th Move: Zephyr
8th Move: ZephyrUki’s Campsite, Route 36.As clever as I felt for coming up with alliterative, or tongue-in-cheek, or even funny punny names for the moves I create; all that work I put into training my Pokémon to use those moves goes down the drain the moment I vomit my lungs out against a competent battler.Like every overly enthusiastic teacher mid-lesson, I flailed my arms about maniacally while explaining my new battle strategy to Baloo. Who, like every long-suffering student who just wanted to get through the day’s work, miserably cradl...
Release Update May (4)
Looks like we've finally reached the end of the month!Mover/Shaker takes its seventh rumbling step as Uki is well under way preparing for his upcoming gym challenge.IoTV! 33.5, 34, and 34.5 are also up and ready to read. Bas finally gets to relax a little and chooses to get his blood pumping (literally) while acting his heart out. As production continues smoothly Bas and co. may have some time for some shenanigans here and there. Apologies for the slightly late final chapter this last week. I wanted to take the criticism of the previous cha...
Chapter 34.5: The Crux of it All - Part 2
Chapter 34.5: The Crux of it All - Part 2Leavesden Studio, UK. January 2008.There was a crack in my butt. Not just the one that ran down the middle.Heineken owed me royalties for all the free advertising I was giving them for constantly rubbing my heinie on camera. But I wasn’t gonna complain too much because it came with the territory.All this time, shooting Half-Blood Prince gave me that sensation of something missing despite being comfortable. Like going to bed and forgetting a blanket. Or maybe it’s closer to sitting on the porcelain th...
Chapter 34: The Crux of it All - Part 1
Chapter 34: The Crux of it All - Part 1Leavesden Studios, UK. December 2007.[Dumbledore’s circular office looked a lot neater than the last time I’d visited. Considering I’d vented my frustrations out on it, it wasn’t a surprise to me that some of the puffing, whirring, and softly whistling were missing.The headmaster genially leaned on his table, a soft smile on his face, and his hands clasped comfortably in front of him.The camera was nearly perched on my shoulder as I, in complete contrast to Dumbledore, stiffly made my way over. Eve...
Chapter 33.5: Weasley Slashing
Chapter 33.5: Weasley SlashingMakeup Station, Durham Cathedral. December 2007.Love is in the air - that’s how the saying goes, but I had a unique spin on it. Love is in the hair.That’s why David Yates’ balding scalp looked like a hairy guy’s knee, “Hold still, Bas,” and why my luscious locks needed the hairstylist to trigger the highest setting on her blow-dryer. “Take Rupert’s example. He’s so well behaved in the makeup chair.”“Putting effort into making neat hair messy seems counterintuitive, don’t you think?” Her br...
7th Move: Fairplay
7th Move: FairplayRoute 36 Campsite, Johto.Falkner had whipped off his falconry gloves and whapped me across the face twice to a gym sanctioned duel.The stakes were simple - he wins and I’m forced to abandon my Pokédollar printing perch so that he can return to a simple life of pecking rookies into bird feed. He didn’t appreciate beginner trainers somehow having normal Pokémon with decidedly abnormal moves playing cuckoo in his nest.With the knowledge and Foresightof realizing that I had absolutely zero obligation to pick up the gauntlet ...
Release Update May (3)
Whoops! Almost forgot to do one of these this week!As an apology I'm uploading the latest chapter of Mover/Shaker after this post to continue Uki's Pokemon journey.Three more chapters of IoTV! are slated for release this week from now till Monday. Currently chapters 32, 32.5, and 33 are up and ready to read. Bas and his schemes have finally gotten the shooting for HBP on track and we get to enjoy the upcoming story.Hope everyone is continuing enjoying my writing, hope necks and hearts aren't too sore from me jerking you all around t...
Chapter 33: High Tea
Chapter 33: High TeaBas’ Caravan, Leavesden. November 2007.Over the past few weeks, when I wake up in the morning, it’s usually been me grumbling at the sunlight streaming in through my window when it hurts my eyes.But today, instead of the prospect of throwing punches at production bearing heavy on my mind, the only thing keeping me buried in bed was the cocooned warmth of my sheets and the comforting clanks of Cadbury cooking in the carriage kitchen. Toasty would best describe it - especially if what my nose was sniffing out was true.No m...
Chapter 32.5: Tele-Socio-Pathy
Chapter 32.5: Tele-Socio-PathyWardrobe Department, Leavesden. November 2007.“Would you fuck me?” Jealousy doesn’t come naturally to me, but as I stared at the shirtless hunk in the mirror, I was feeling it full force.“Thank God you’re wearing underwear beneath those baggy pants.” Anita’s voice was more muffled than usual, if it was as a result of her face being buried in her palms or because she was swaddled between the hanging, thick, dark robes the death eaters wore was anyone’s guess.What I didn’t have to guess, however, wa...
Chapter 32: The Half-Wit Ponce
Chapter 32: The Half-Wit PonceLeavesden Studios, UK. October 2007.Dilemmas did diddly-squat when it came to delaying production. If the money train was full speed ahead, there wasn’t any thought going into the trolley problem. It wouldn’t matter who and how many were tied to the tracks, rather than choose, the train would skillfully drift on to both rails at the same time and run everyone over just to be safe.Needless to say, the Hogwarts Express was chugging along.While he walked around trying to get a sit-down with the higher-ups at WB, D...
Release Update May (2)
Hello all,IoTV! has the next three chapter 30.5, 31, and 31.5 out and ready to read. Half blood prince is having a rocky start, but the team will do their best to get it back on track. And Bas finally read the acknowledgments!I owe an apology for Mover/Shaker unfortunately the chapter i wrote was complete Garbodor. Will hopefully keep that stench contained this week!Look forward to this coming week, and I really really loved everyone's thoughts the last few chapters.Thank you again for your continued support.XoxoXOBar Calak
Chapter 31.5: Jumping the Gun, Not the Shark
Chapter 31.5: Jumping the Gun, Not the SharkBas’s Caravan, Leavesden. October 2007.“Storming out like that, even choreographed, is unbecoming, Mr Rhys.”“C’mon Cad, calling it storming out is a little harsh. It was a light drizzle at worst.” My steps up the door to my caravan were kept lighter than usual in case I was accused of thundering up them. I reached down, took hold of her outstretched hand, and helped her up the final rung. “Had to make production sweat somehow, or this whole thing wouldn’t hold water.”“If you say so...
Chapter 31: Comply, Come Fly Away
Chapter 31: Comply, Come Fly AwayLeavesden Studios, UK. October 2007.Fear wasn’t a foreign concept to me, but the circumstances that led to me living the life I did now, not to mention the extremely cushy existence I’d carved out for myself, had left my sense of danger about as dulled as a 2B pencil after an hours-long exam.The sleeve of pseudoephedrine I kept tucked away in my travel medicine pouch wasn’t there as a back-up plan to start breaking bad in case this whole movie thing didn’t pan out.My nasal passages were forever kept free...
Chapter 30.5: Boxing in the Office
Chapter 30.5: Boxing in the OfficeDunshire Equities, LA. September 2007.“Take a seat.”“...This is my office, Bas. Youtake a seat.” Would you look at that? Not only had my ever indefatigable financial advisor Ben gotten himself a brand spanking new office suite with all the works, apparently he’d also gotten himself a brand new attitude. Something a little more spiny than whiny.One aspect of him that hadn’t changed, however, in the few months of my absence, was his consistently poor diet. “Papa John’s, Domino’s, and Pizza Hut?...
Release Update May (1)
I feel like every time I blink I'm writing another one of these.This week just flew by. Mover/Shaker chapter 6 is out. Uki has managed to barter better rewards from a jilted gym leader. Who will he train for his impending match and will he succeed? IoTV! 29, 29.5, and 30 are there too. Bas' Hawaiian vacation is over, next week he'll have to take care of things at home before meeting a few surprises as Harry Potter's 6th year begins.I've barely had a wink this entire week because of how energized all of you have kept me. I ca...
Chapter 30: Getting Lei’d
Chapter 30: Getting Lei’dHilo, Hawaii. September 2007.The ballistic storm battering Kaua’i was ready to ebb. In around another week, there’d no longer be thunder over the tropics.After anything and everything involving jungles, animals, stunts, and explosions had been completed, Ben had relaxed and basically dispersed the crew into a few smaller teams to now, at the end of our filming schedule, shoot the opening of the movie.We wrapped photography in our pretend war zone, and in-between sound stages and locations around Hawaii, the crew h...
Chapter 29.5: Hawaiian Cruise
Chapter 29.5: Hawaiian CruiseKaua’i, Hawaii. August 2007.Whenever the weather is on the brink of rain, a lot of us have the senses to tell that a shift is coming. Some people feel an ache in their bones and others breathe in that earthy scent of petrichor.My poor nose, unfortunately, only caught a persistent and lingering stench of body odor.It didn’t matter if you were an actor, a production executive, or just one of the many many hands and feet on the ground, everyone and their mother were scurrying hither and dither to prepare for a very...
Chapter 29: Rigidity Don’t Jive
Chapter 29: Rigidity Don’t JiveKaua’i, Hawaii. August 2007.I loved practical effects. CG has its place in movie making for sure, but I dreaded the day when tasteful enhancements were subsumed by the viral infection that computer graphics would inevitably become. Planting their invading flag on the rich soil of artistry to turn it into an artificial concrete monument celebrating the destruction of soul and authenticity.It wasn’t even like CGI was any cheaper than practical effects, either. Even as my platoon and I hopped off a fake but fun...
6th Move: Hostile Negotiations
6th Move: Hostile NegotiationsEntertainment took many many forms in the Pokémon world. Outside of battling, there was an entire ocean of industries and fields that gained eyes and attention.And often with that attention came the corresponding fame and power for those at the pinnacle.Mind you, it wasn’t just the people with posters on fans’ walls. Ace Pokémon also had plenty of profitable merch.Coordinators were likely the first to come to mind. Like Lisia and Ali from Hoenn. Fashion modeling was also big business. But if captivating creat...
Release Update April (5)
I don't know how I've managed to fit in so many update in a single month, but I doubt anybody is complaining haha.Another week gone and another pack of chapters are available for you at your leisure!Mover/Shaker chapter 5 is out - Uki's recent shenanigans have potentially put him trouble with a gym leader.IoTV! chapters 27.5, 28, and 28.5 are also out!Bas and Emma have a heart to heart as their Hollywood careers are beginning to evolve. We saw what the fans online have to say about the franchise and Bas. And Tropic Thunder has offic...
Chapter 28.5: Pineapples & Oranges
Chapter 28.5: Pineapples & OrangesKaua’i, Hawaii. July 2007.My body gently swayed. I lounged in a hammock tied between two palm trees. Distant crunching and sloshing sang the siren call of a cerulean sea. But nothing could take me away from the siren beside me, who looked suspiciously like the stewardess on my flight headed here. Her grass skirt rustled as she shuffled up to me. She leaned over and pressed a tall cool glass filled to the brim with a pina colada to my lips. I craned my neck up to get a better taste as the frothy drink ran over...
