Hard Choices posts
Posts: 0
Files: 0
November Patreon Donations Going to Feeding America
Hey folks, This will be a tone shift and if you're not up for anything serious, you can skip this one. Kris over at MegaDumbCast is sending in his Patreon money to FeedingAmerica.org this month because of the government shutdown and how it's affecting SNAP benefits. I wanted to do the same, so that's where your November donations are going. I don't say this because I need applause or whatever, but because I guess I want you to know that you're helping and I hope you'll help more, if you have the means to do so. Needless ...
Allo & Ace #9 - The Case of the Cow Tool [feat. Jef Aldrich and Claire Vannette]
I know! More bonus content so soon? Is it Christmas?! No, it's just that this episode has some wonders that I was especially keen to revisit. Wait until you hear about them, you'll see why I was in a hurry to go back to this episode. Even more exciting was that Annie and I were joined by Jef Aldrich and Claire Vannette from Relationship Mastery! Now, as per usual, the internet has rotted away some of the links, but several of them are still in working order. I'm also including a few pictures for posterity, because these links will n...
Allo and Ace #8 - The Case of the Lemon's Anus [feat. Maq]
Welcome to another wild and weird episode of Allo and Ace are on the Case! Join Annie, Maquenzie, and MeganBob as they dive into the depths of the internet and end up back in the produce aisle of Albertson's, somehow? As always, thank you to each and every one of you patrons and a special thanks to everyone at the $4.20 and above tiers who helps vote on the horrors that I show off to Annie and our guests!Want to gaze upon what humanity was not meant to see? Of course you do! Object #1 - Discontinued 😾🦐Object #2 🥑Object #3 🍋Objec...
Hard Choices 48 - Power Rangers Villains + outtakes
Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi! Turn your TV back to 1993 and settle in for a Hard Choices episode of hard-hitting, backflipping, wildly gesticulating action. That's right, it's time to power up by fucking our way through 21 of the most memorably vile villains that questionable English localization can offer! Join our hosts James D'Amato, Jake Mason, Claire Mulkerin, and MeganBob as they suit up to face the meanest aliens, mightiest wizards, and rubberiest robots the mad geniuses at Saban have to offer! James gets involved with couples in messy on...
Hard Choices - Comic Book Villains, Live in Tucson!
Our live performance at the Tucson Comic Con was captured for posterity, as we covered the ins and outs of banging Comic Book Villains! Thank you to Andrew Ihla for filming and editing this together! Patreon: patreon.com/c/hardchoices Instagram: hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ
Allo and Ace are on the Case #7 - The Case of the *Plapplapplapplap* [feat. Maq]
EDIT: Soooo, I tried using Internet Archive to save these accursed webpages permanently, but, like everywhere on the internet, they censor any content that they deem to be 'adult', hence the blurriness of the image. I replaced that permalink with the actual link to the tentacle toy on Shein. I have searched around to try and find a way to store an interactive version of the page, but I can't find anything and I can't figure out how to save any of the short videos or gifs. Any ideas? This installment of Allo and Ace are on the Ca...
Hard Choices 47 - Comic Book Villains [Live at Tucson Comic Con]
At last! We have you in our clutches, restrained and unable to do anything but sit back and listen to our objectively correct* takes on some of the most fuckable villains that comic books have to offer! You will join Dan Mulkerin, Claire Mulkerin, JoJo Seames, and MeganBob as they deliver diabolical monologues guaranteed to set both heart and loins aflame. They tangle with the likes of Lex Luthor and Doctor Doom along with some villains who you might not expect like Batroc the Leaper and Orca the Whale Woman. Truly, we are nothing if not fair i...
Allo and Ace are on the Case #6 - The Case of the Plump Ass [feat. James D'Amato]
Annie, James, and MeganBob are back and ready to dive deeper into the mysteries of the weird web! We explore speeds of flapping, the heroes journey, Poseidon's rage, and Billie Eilish's "Therefore I Am". Want to see what we saw? Of course you do! Object #1 🔨Object #2 🐦🔥Object #3 🌈Object #4 is gone from Temu. I'm so sorry! If it ever returns, I'll be sure to share the link!I'm trying to get the dang RSS feed thing to work, so please let me know if it's working or not! If not, I'll do some more p...
Hard Choices 46 - Final Fantasy XIV + Outtakes
Double-check your Item Level and apply your favorite glamours, because this month we're logging into the weird, wild, and frequently patched world of Final Fantasy XIV! Dan, Kit, and Meganbob group up with Jef from System Mastery to take a spin on the BOOTY Roulette. Which character will prove to be the Zenith, which the Nadir, and how many are just straight up unpronounceable? What ancient Allagan sex tricks does Urianger have up his sleeve? Does Zenos even know what sex is? Is Nidhogg too toxic of a dragon for even Meganbob's boner to...
Hard Choices 45 - Homestar Runner [feat. Patrick Rothfuss, James D'Amato, Dillin Apelyan, & Annie Craton]
Everybody to the limit! Well, maybe past the limit, because yes, we're ranking the fuckability of the Homestar Runner universe. Does it matter to you if the Cheat lives in a grill? Do you care if Homestar Runner is wearing pants? Just what can Strong Bad do while wearing boxing gloves?JoinPatrick Rothfuss, James, D'Amato, Dillin Apelyan, Annie Craton, and MeganBob as they explore what makes fucking Senor Cardgage a 'probalo', whether getting possibly eaten by the King of Town is a dealbreaker, and to what extent it matters if th...
Announcement! Bad Choices - Shrek and Live Show at Tucson Comic Con!
Join James D'Amato, Kit, Maq, and MeganBob for the Bad Choices - Shrek livestream on August 9th at 5pm Pacific! Bad Choices - Shrek registration linkJoin Dan, Claire, JoJo Seames, and MeganBob on Friday, August 29th at 5:20pm in room 106 at the Tucson Comic Con for an episode about Comic Book Villains! Tucson Comic Con registration link
Bad Choices - Shrek Fanfic!
Alright, you sick motherfuckers have to decide who I'm going to write this cursed thing about! Make me proud!
Bad Choices - Shrek
You know the drill! On Saturday, August 9th at 5pm Pacific, James D'Amato, Kit, Maq, and MeganBob are going to get tipsy and rank the fuckabYou know the drill! On Saturday, August 9th at 5pm Pacific, James D'Amato, Kit, Maq, and MeganBob are going to get tipsy and rank the fuckability of fifteen characters from the world of Shrek, answer questions submitted by you, the audience, and then end the night with a nasty fanfic that will make us all regret our choices! It's four hours of hilarity, cringe, shock, delight, and more Dreamwork...
Allo and Ace are on the Case #5 - The Case of the Sixth Side [feat. James D'Amato]
Hello and welcome to the podcast that looks through the back alleys and hidden byways of Shein and Temu for sex toy nightmares and then reports our findings! This episode, Annie Craton and MeganBob were lucky enough to be joined by James D'Amato, the first guest to actually bring a bottle of wine to this fancy dinner party! And by bottle of wine, we mean truly ungodly sex toy. This episode is up for free, but the other episodes are behind the paywall, including the follow-up episode to this one, where we take James yet deeper into the nooks...
Allo and Ace Fan Art!
Elliot Lange has been kind enough to draw images of the sex toys that Annie and I have been talking about. They don't click the links to seeElliot Lange has been kind enough to draw images of the sex toys that Annie and I have been talking about. They don't click the links to seeElliot Lange has been kind enough to draw images of the sex toys that Annie and I have been talking about. They don't click the links to see the images, so these are drawn purely based on how Annie and I describe them!If you enjoy these, please comment and l...
Hard Choices 44 - Comic Book Weirdos
Look, comic book superheroes have been around for a long time. Some of them get their own billion-dollar film franchises, toylines, video games, Halloween costumes, and breakfast cereals. But then there are the other guys. The ones the MCU won't touch. The ones that make Jack Kirby himself tilt his head in confusion. The weirdos that pop culture is content to forget.But we at Hard Choices don't forget. Join Meganbob, Kris, and Jef and Jon from the System Mastery podcast as they go on a sexual escapade through the dustiest of back issue ...
Allo and Ace #4 - The Case of the Cool Teeth [feat. Kit]
Annie, Kit, and MeganBob dive back into Temu and Shein to see what horrors await. Will they meet new friends? Will they figure out who out there is trying to combine the artistic vibe of doilies with fuck'n? Will they discover a potential true crime in desperate need of investigation? Probably! I mean, at the least, they're going to discover yet more evidence that the people designing sex toys have just kinda been following their hearts, and definitely not any known information about anatomy. Want to see for yourself? Object #1 🐉Obje...
Weird Choices - American Landmarks [feat. Kit]
Thanks to Faris, Kit and I went on a journey through the many notable landmarks of the American landscape like the Golden Gate Bridge, The Empire State Building, and the Las Vegas Strip, among others! Now look, some may quibble and say that you're not supposed to treat a road trip across the country as a fuckstravaganza, but to those people I say, get on the Hard Choices level, bro. *This message not approved by the The U.S. Travel and Tourism Advisory Board
Allo and Ace are on the Case #3 - The Case of the Lonely Dildo [feat. Kit]
This episode features a dildo that we've come to feel unreasonably affectionate towards, and a device that makes us yearn for the days when the mall had a 'science gadget' store. Also, we spend a minute talking about the Disney Channel Original Movie Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century.Object #1 🐎Object #2 🔮Enjoying these episodes? Let us know! Want to be the one who picks what we talk about? Up your pledge to $10.69 a month for three months and you get to control what Annie and I talk about for one full, girthy, and satisfying ep...
Medians - Season Two
This show is about so much more than getting a blowjob from a Muppet or finally knowing what Kraven the Hunter smells like. This show is about data. Only by carefully ranking fictional universes, represented by their median fuckable character, against one another can we arrive at a considered understanding of how these fandoms relate. Join Annie Craton, Kris Newton, Dan Mulkerin, and MeganBob for a voyage into the dead center of 21 lists. Along the way we ask ourselves, is Silver Sable from Spider -Man more fuckable than Guile from Street Fight...
Allo and Ace Poll for episodes with James D'Amato
Alrighty! Annie and I are recording with James on Monday night, so this is going to be a quicker poll than usual! I bring some fine nightmares for your delectation. Vote for as many as you want! As always, I'll use the top two! Object #1Object #2Object #3Object #4 Object #5
Allo and Ace are on the Case #2 - The Case of the Insulted Pangolin
In this installment, we revisit the Animorphs without ever exactly recalling how often you have to go to the Yeerk spa (please tell us, if you know!) We then take a look at a product that proudly claims the word 'peculiar' as a selling point. Finally, we finish up with a tiny little scrap of fabric that we can only assume must have been all the rage in the Victorian BDSM scene. Want to see these nightmares for yourself? Item #1Item #2Item #3 If you have suggestions for what we talk about next, drop us a link!
Poll: Allo and Ace are on the Case
Which of these nightmares should I subject Annie to?? Vote for as many as you want? Please vote by Monday, May 19th! I'll use the winner and the runner up for the next two bonus episodesObject #1Object #2Object #3Object #4Object #5
Allo and Ace are on the Case #1 - The Case of the Slapped Banana
I wanted to show Annie nightmarish sex toys on Shein and Temu, and of course that necessitated making a podcast. In this adventure, our plucky heroes encounter a pig with more agency than either of them feels comfortable with, and a...device? A something, that's more popular than you, dear reader, would dare imagine. Want to follow along on their adventures? Click below for links! Item #1Item #2Music from #Uppbeathttps://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/sneak-inLicense code: HVPA0FTXKR92FAKR
Weird Choices - Office Supplies [feat Kam Servo]
Nothing gets me going like the smell of toner. Thanks for editing this, Kam! You're the peachiest!
Weird Choices - Dice [feat. James D'Amato]
You know who fucks with dice? James. James does. You know who doesn't understand dice but enjoys talking about fucking? ME!You know who fucks with dice? James. James does. You know who doesn't understand dice but enjoys talking about fucking? ME! Tune in for a little over an hour of polyhedral musings! GO. BUY. JAMES'. GAME. And goddammit, whether you buy it right now or not, you go leave him a review on Amazon right today. IT WILL TAKE YOU TWO SECONDS. Things you can say about this game, but feel free to write your own:I laughed so...
Hard Choices - Mirror Universe
According to sensors, a freak ion storm has transported an alternate universe Hard Choices episode into this feed! But this is not Hard Choices as we know it. Instead, join Admiral James D'Amato, Captain Kris Newton, Agony Booth Test Subject Dan Mulkerin, and Madame Sharon Schneiderman as they take a harsh, sweaty look at the characters of Star Trek's Mirror Universe.WARNING: As befits an evil podcast, this episode contains sweeping spoilers for all of Star Trek's mirror universe episodes, and especially for Season 1 of Star Trek: D...
Hard Choices 42 - Lost
Something was in the air in 2004 and we're not entirely sure what it was. Whatever it was, ABC's Lost was chockful of it and boy howdy was the landscape of American television ever weirder because of it. Join Kam Servo of UNspoiled! The Constant: Lostand newcomers Jody Troutman of LongTallJodieand Claire J. Vannette of Relationship Mastery, along with absolute Lost newbie, MeganBob, as they return to The Island. Along the way, we flash forward, backward, sideways, and probably diagonally too. We'll meet smoke monsters, polar bears, ...
Bad Choices 4 - Nick at Nite Couples
It's time to get in the wayback machine and revisit the characters that defined the mid-century American television landscape: Nick at Nite Couples. Bad Choices was exactly the right place to break out the fancy cocktail glasses, get fabulously dressed, and say things that would make shock our parents.Join Kris Newton, James D'Amato, Marissa, and MeganBob in (drunkenly) ranking the fuckability of fictionalcharacters that we grew up with, from Happy Days, to Bewitched, to I Love Lucy, to The Jeffersons, and beyond. MeganBob wants to look...
Where's the December Episode?
My darlings, The boring answer is that I'm still editing it. It's going to be the edited version of the Bad Choices - Nick at Nite Couples livestream, which ended up being about five hours of raw audio. Needless to say, that presented a real challenge, especially since I'm not usually the editor and it's taken me some time to get back into the rhythm of editing. The episode should be ready to drop by Wednesday at the latest. Normally, I'd be happy to commit to it dropping today, and it's close to be done, but this episod...
